Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

Ding dong the witch is dead
Which old witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is dead!

—The Munchkins, from The Wizard of Oz

If the excruciating and demobilizing pain in my leg from the sciatic nerve pinch in my spine was the Wicked Witch, then ding dong the Wicked Witch is actually dead. The pain is gone. The surgery worked exactly as we knew it would on August 18th, 2025, just after my MRI. I'm up, I'm fully mobile, I can easily tell it worked because I can put full pressure on my left leg with no pain whatsoever in any position. I’m ready to not only walk, I’m ready to run, jump, and fall. Everything corrective anticipated by the surgery, at this point, has easily been observed. No trouble putting my afflicted leg and associated nerve in any position. I am jubilant to begin. My leg feels brand new.

Both the surgeon and my chiropractor warned me of phantom nerve pain, or a rebound in pain as a result of a nerve that has been damaged and in pain for any length of time. Well it didn’t have to be any length of time had we done the correction early. I blame the surgeon as incompetent staff at Fairfax Abysmal and will have my reckoning with that team sometime in the future. As for the phantom pain, I have already felt that happen. It's easy to detect. A pulse of pain in my leg occurs for no reason…in any part, down the length of my sciatic nerve. But it happens for no reason. I'm not putting any pressure on it, it just happens like a spasm. It's not even that painful, like a 1 or a 2 on the linear scale. Easy to ignore…it literally feels like a phantom…a whisper of the pain that was once there. It's not concerning at all. It does piss me off…as well, everyone knows everything about this extended situation pisses me off.

Before I start my full recovery to running and jumping and falling, however, the surgery to correct the condition in my back itself must heal. The surgery consisted of the discectomy on the left of the nerve root impinging discs at my L34 and L45. From what the surgeon and PA have told me they clipped the discs. But also, and perhaps more importantly they clipped a bunch of arthritis they found in there along the way. We’ve always suspected there was more going on than just the bulging discs…so of the bone protruding into the nerve that wasn’t observable on any of the imagery. And or, the impingement from the arthritis wasn’t showing in the imagery because it didn’t happen at rest. I had to have weight on the leg to really show the squeeze, however the imagery was static, not dynamic. There are dynamic MRI machines…but they are few and far between. I did not go down this path. I probably would have looked into it had the surgeon not believed there was utility in going in to do the discectomy. Nothing like using the “Mark-I Eyeball” to assess the situation in real time. Did he trim the herniated discs back? Yes. Did he find arthritis in the regions and clip that back too? Yes. And by clip, I got a bit more understanding of the tool he used in the surgery. It’s like a long skinny nail clipper that they insert through a small hole that they drill in the lamina of the spine. That’s the back portion of bone, not the vertebrae which is in front of the spinal cord. The clipper they use is called the Kerrison Rongeur which I love because rongeur means to gnaw like a rat. So essentially the surgeon was going into my back and gnawing on the bulging disc and associated arthritic bone pieces with a set of rodent teeth. This is not new technology. This instrument was invented in 1904 by Dr. Philip D. Kerrison to do early surgery in the ear while protecting the nerves. It was later adapted to do surgery on the spine. The whole idea is to have a clipper on one side of the instrument while the other side is just a tube that protects the adjacent nerve. I don’t know exactly which instrument my surgeon used as they have been adapted through time with many modifications. However, it is clear he gnawed away in my back like Willard, the hungry rat, having dinner. I’m happy this tool exists.

I do have to deal with the pain from the surgery. It's quite different from the nerve pain. It is significant but totally in the linear region of pain and can be defined as such. Without Motrin and Tylenol pain is probably in the 8 range unless I stretch the area but then it jumps to a 10, but not off the chart. It’s not excruciating. It’s just, “Oh my God I’m ripping my skin open”. I classify that as a 10. But it's localized to the region of surgery right on my lower back where Willard was eating. The rest of my body has no impact. I can walk and I could possibly run…I just don't want to run yet with a tender back. At 11 am on Monday, 72 hours after surgery, I can remove the sealed bandage and take my first shower. I've been warned (Jay C) that surgical pain will peak about 42 hours after surgery, that's today. However I know from experience, that surgical pain, after cutting through muscle tissue actually takes weeks to heal. My last surgery was open surgery to correct a lingual hernia. I vastly underestimated my recovery time and found myself home in bed after trying to heroically travel after the weekend, only four days after surgery. That didn't work out and I had to abandon my trip in the middle and return home in a hurry. We were celebrating Shade’s birthday with Ed and Hucker at Peddler’s. I was not in a good way…and we didn’t smoke cigars. The next day I had the choice to travel to Orlando (from Boston) or fly home. I abandoned the trip and went home to bed. Thanks again to Ryan H for bringing me back to the hotel.

I learned my lesson and I will take it very slow this time. I feel the surgical pain. In two weeks I will meet for my post op with the surgical PA and then, after receiving a clean bill of health that the surgical wound has healed properly…I’ll slowly begin retraining my body for my return to the soccer pitch. And in the Spring, perhaps a return to the Sierra Nevada mountains with Meatball with a planned 24 mile hike into Bench Lake, from the Nevada side. This is the spot Randy Morgenson lived his summers for 27 years. Please join us, if you have the motivation and the means.

I would love to talk more about the surgery because I simply have no recollection. In the past going under general anesthesia I was already in the operating room on the operating table. This time, the initial dose of medication was administered in the prep area. I met the surgical team, the surgeon, the PA, the surgical nurse, the anesthesiologist, and his nurse. In fact it was the anesthesiological nurse who administered the meds through my IV while still in the prep area. And I didn't even know it, or feel it coming. No counting backwards from 10. I was out and woke up in the recovery room. I actually found it quite rude. So I have zero memory of anything surgical except the pain in my back, and immediately after, the pain in my throat. It's standard practice under general anesthesia these days to always be intubated, which means a breathing tube down your trachea. For this surgery I had to lay flat on my stomach so the trach tube must have come out of my throat, then my mouth and wrapped up around my head. I do have bruises on my mouth as well. Whether it is standard or not, I feel like the anesthesiologic nurse was responsible for both acts of rudeness…the one of treachery where I was knocked out before I knew it and then the pain after surgery in my throat and mouth associated with what appears to have been a fairly rough intubation. Asshole. Calling the nurse an A-hole in this blog will probably get it censored by the AI police.

Anyway, the trach pain in my throat is annoying and feels like unnecessary pain. They do it as a precaution in case you throw up during surgery and then inhale your own puke. It's a complication of surgery that requires abusing the patient for our own good…and can be easily avoided by not doing it. I think I am also paying for the nice set of pressure cuffs they put on my calves during surgery to prevent blood clots. I am also supposed to wear them while laying in bed. I'm not laying in bed…so again it’s a wasteful protocol administered for our own good. Just like all those daily injections in Folsom to thin the blood to prevent blood clots. It’s a waste and somewhat of an abuse. I'm active, I'm up, I'm moving around. Even in my beloved wheelchair I was moving around and moving my legs. Sometimes it would be nice for the medical community not to treat everyone with the exact same protocol…it is without a doubt…incorrect to do so medically, and it is dehumanizing in many aspects. It's done for legal reasons and here is the dichotomy of that. The doctors clearly want insurance companies to pay for procedures that the doctors have to balance with their exposure to doing something wrong resulting in a malpractice lawsuit. So doctors are paying for malpractice insurance at the same time. They add protocol that we, the patient, has to pay for to insure they don't run the risk of something bad happening. Sometimes that means our own insurance pays for it. I think my insurance will cover the intubation. I don't think they are covering the pressure cuffs for my legs. I'll find out soon enough.

Regardless, it’s over. Finally, Two months late, but the surgery is done and I would have to say, 100% successful. My surgeon is not putting any weight limits or movement limits on me. I can even take Motrin as they are confident there will be no additional bleeding in the aftermath of the procedure. I asked the PA these exact questions. This medical team is so confident in their procedure that their protocol is different from other doctors I have talked to…including Deep Throat. Nevertheless I will take it easy. I’ll let my body define what I’m capable of doing. I’m not planning anything like going to the gym or working out until at least two weeks have gone by.

Instead I will write this blog and contemplate the second half of this series of essays. I have no doubt I will be assembling a complaint against the treatment I received at Fairfax Abysmal. Whereas I am on the road to recovery the doctors involved in that treatment will have to answer some very important questions. In particular, the pain management doctor at Attica and the Neurosurgeon who denied the obvious on three separate occasions and thus sealed my fate to be removed and sent under threat of security intervention to Folsom for a two weeks stay to learn how to live in a wheelchair. For me, after finally achieving the required medical procedure, the Wicked Witch is truly dead. For the medical team at Attica, I can only say, it’s Goodbye to their Yellow Brick Road…and a plague on them. I’ll be reporting on my progress as I brick by brick, with the help of Chat-GPT 5, dismantle their yellow brick roadway to the Land of Oz.

Hand of God

Twas the night before going under the knife and all through the house, everybody (mostly me) was ready for something that should have  happened  two months ago. Ladies and gentlemen, mostly gentlemen, it's time.  Let's hope the surgeon has steady hands and that I don't bleed out.

The outpatient procedure (left discectomy on L3-L5) is scheduled for no longer than an hour and a half. 9:30-11:00 EST.  The optimism shown by the medical staff that I would be pain-free as soon as I woke up just pisses me off considering the resources expended over the last two months to keep me in excruciating pain and bound to a wheelchair.  A lot of people got paid at my expense.  I lost significantly during the last two months.  Not just pain, but money, and lost time. Ironically my medical insurance company has also lost significantly.  Their seeming reticence to approve surgery resulted in a two month long continuous out payment for things I didn't need… yet ultimately it all still results  in the surgery that everyone but me (and Deep Throat) wanted to avoid. We both knew it was going to be a discectomy on 18 August.  

Tonight however I  am finally surgery bound. I want to describe the pre-surgical procedures as they are interesting and have clearly developed over a long history of shit going horribly wrong. 

First you have to sign your life away to the person who's bringing you to the outpatient surgical center. Easy to think of all the things going horribly wrong here. Surgical patient discharged to the parking lot. The car accidents while still on sedation. The sutured surgical wounds becoming unsutured, etc.  Use your imagination here and it's probably happened.   They make sure a responsible adult is on the premises.  So please provide the name, age, rank, relation, serial number, phone number and acknowledge that they are going to stay with you for 24 hours.  

After my sister, I'll always be there for you, said no she wouldn't be there for me. I was left with no choice but to ask  my 60 year old, male roommate Felix Unger.  When his wife kicked him out, with nowhere else to go, he arrived at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison.  Several years earlier, his wife had done the same, requesting that he never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy? Cue the theme song from “The Odd Couple” …Da doot da doot da dooo… dat da dooo dat da dooo da… 

Who remembers that show?  Was Felix gay?  They certainly wanted Oscar to be a man’s man.  Felix, as I remember, was fairly pedantic about cleaning around the house. He was also a gourmet cook.  I'm in the same situation. My 60 year old friend and I are this odd couple.  He cares about every detail around the house.  I do not give two shits about any detail.  I think it hurts his feelings although he doesn't appear to take it personally.  For instance this evening after dinner I began hydrating with Gatorade. The next pre-surgical recommendation, hydration.  His suggestion was for me to hydrate with Pedialyte instead.  He even had some Pedialyte he could share with me.   Then he wanted to show me how to change the washable air filter on the hepa air filter in my room.  Recall one of the ways I abused my back the past year was helping him move his stuff out of his apartment.  That move itself didn't put me in the Emergency Room, it did, add to the stack of abuse I was laying on my lumbar region.  It's only fitting that he gets tasked with making sure I get home safely.  There couldn't be a better choice.  

I should have put him in charge of my medical care.  At 60, with no kids, he's the ultimate helicopter dad.  The surgical center will no doubt think we are lovers, at our age, living together, that's just how it has to be.  My sister was my first choice, the ultimate helicopter mom.  The important thing is that I hydrated,  so I stuck to my Gatorade.  Not sure why hydration is a huge thing…I do know it could delay surgery.  They might have to juice you up with an IV bag ahead of time. These guys want no delays.  

Once the nurse confirmed I was going to get to surgery and home safely, we discussed more things. Seven days before surgery no more NASIDS or aspirin. These meds thin your blood. If your blood is too thin it doesn't clot as well.  Bleeding out is a complication they want to avoid. 

Infection is something they want to avoid in all surgeries, it's particularly nasty if they leave you with an infection in your spine.  So they want you to disinfect your skin by washing with Dial Gold antibacterial soap.  I thought I could go with the hand soap and pump bottle, Felix however would not stand for it and thus it was necessary for me to bathe with bar soap…and a new bar of soap for each shower.  Eight bars of Dial Gold appeared on my table the next day.   He did the math right.  A new bar for each shower and two showers the day before. So I've been living the dream with Dial Soap.  You never feel more squeaky clean.  Your skin feels tight after using it.  

No eating after midnight, another important rule. Clear fluids only, including black coffee, no cream or milk.  Nothing at all after 6 am.  This is so you don't throw up during the administration of the anesthesia and breathe it into your lungs. A situation that upsets both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist as now they must stop and save your life during the surgery.  

There is a pre-surgical physical that also was accomplished, in my case, three weeks out. Blood tests, an EKG, all to prevent another emergency from happening while they have you on your stomach with your back cut open.  This is a bad time to choose cardiac arrest, for example.

No contact lenses.  Can't think of a horrible scenario here happening in surgery.  I can think of one or two prior to surgery, if I can't see dick.  The nurse told me to bring my glasses.  She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that I don't have glasses. I'll do my best to make it in from the parking lot. Felix will help.

A strange rule, a problem unrelated to surgery, is that I must  leave all my valuables at home…I wasn't preparing to bring my stamp collection, that seems strange.  But watches and rings make sense.  No wallet though… I can only bring my drivers license and insurance card.  Of course they want that.  Seemingly crime must be rampant at the surgical center. 

The final rule, they don't want me taking any of the meds I am on.  As my pain returns in the morning, that should make it fun laying on my stomach for the surgery.  Perhaps I'll be on my back until they knock me out…then they can roll me onto my stomach exposing my butt in the process.  The good news is, with those eight bars of Dial Soap all used up, my butt has never been cleaner.

Well here we go.  I've never looked forward to surgery more.  No need to wish me luck.  Prognosis is a 100%  certainty. If it's not a 100% certainty my faith in any sort of knowledge about the human body we claim to believe will be shattered.  Barring any sort of mistake this fix will work.  So as you pray for me today, don't pray for the fix, pray that my surgeon has the hands of Diego Maradona during the 1986 World Cup match against England.

Western Medicine for the Win

You better lose yourself in the music.
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go…
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime...

—Eminem, Lose Yourself

There is only one trip to the chiropractor left before D-day.  That's this afternoon.  I couldn't find any more dramatic letter than D… S day for surgery just doesn't have the same kick. As of yesterday I've been to the chiropractor 11 times.  I've been waiting until this week to make the final decision on whether or not to go under the knife. My criteria for recovery  had to include walking, running, jumping and falling. I'm walking fine…I'm up right, I can move pretty well. I can walk over obstacles, I can walk in the yard, I can walk up and down hills, I can walk on different surfaces and I can hit different points of inflection.

However I cannot run. I can pick up the pace as I walk but I'm still not breaking into a run or even a trot. And I'm far from jumping.  So I am a long way from anything I can even call recovery. Remember and this chiropractic care follows 2 weeks of impatient physical therapy which kept me in a wheelchair. As due diligence is called to the stand, I have done mine in every sense of the word. Two full months of conservative care…both conventional and unconventional.  Two rounds of direct epidural injections. A mountain of steroids and enough pharmacological intervention to kill a small horse…if taken all at once of course.

Also I can do none of this physical stuff without the cover of pain medication I am currently taking. I'm still on  600 mg of Gabapentin every 6 hours. 750 mg of Methocarbamol 6. hours. And the same with Tylenol. The only medication I have stopped taking is Motrin. I had to come off NSAIDs on Friday to prepare for surgery. 

Of all of the medications I believe the Gabapentin is having the most effect and in fact I believe had I reached these  levels earlier I would have been walking sooner.  I never reached  600 mg every 6 hours until the outpatient pain management doctor, the one who gave me the cortisone injections after I left Folsom, increased my dosage. He also gave me Tramadol to take if the pain increased after I came off the Motrin. So far I have not had to take the Tramadol.  If I miss a dose of the Gabapentin however the pain returns with a vengeance…it is in fact self critiquing when I miss the Gabapentin, so I know it's the primary actor.

I asked my insider informant, Deep Throat, if the progress I was making was sufficient to avoid surgery and if I should get another set of images ahead of surgery just to see if the chiropractor was making any progress with the mechanical issue freeing the impingement of L34 and L45 nerve roots. Deep Throat said he always makes the diagnosis in the clinical setting and basically described that if I'm still getting numbness down my leg the impingement is still there.  And at this point that has to be fixed by surgery. 

So friends I see no way out of avoiding the knife on Friday. I'm not afraid of the procedure at all, in fact I'm looking forward to it. Those of you who have been following along know that had the surgery been offered to me on 18 August,  due to the level of pain I was in, I would have gladly accepted. 

There's also no doubt in my mind if I were to come off of my medications entirely I would quickly return to that same level of pain I was in when I entered Attica on 17 August.  The practical magic of chiropractic has seemingly and magically lifted me from my wheelchair and put my belief in those  manipulations as always just temporary. They've created some space between my vertebrae because there's been less impingement on the the nerve roots but this condition is only temporary…once  gravity takes back over it's only a matter of time before the vertebrae drop back into an offending position. Should I continue with chiropractic I will be caught in the purgatory of weekly chiropractic care (Allison K). That is the grift of that community (Champ G). I'm not saying it doesn't work. I'm not saying many people do feel relief from the physical manipulations. I'm just saying that they seemingly must continue, indeed,  without end. Thus it is Western Medicine for the win (also Champ G).

I have completed all of my pre-op appointments and my interview with the surgical nurse. I've got a clean bill of health and I'm ready to meet the surgeon at 12:00 noon on the 17th.  A clean bill of health is defined as good blood work, a nice EKG result,  and an interview with the surgical nurse to describe how I've handled anesthesia in the past. Luckily I've come through two surgeries in the past 3 years…the emergency appendectomy in 2022 and my hernia surgery in 2024. No problem whatsoever with the anesthesia. Many already know that the hernia surgery created problems for me not because of the anesthesia but because I decided I was well four days following the procedure. I had elected open surgery and not the orthoscopic  fix.  That means they carved through three layers of muscle to reach the herniated area requiring the fix.  I didn't realize that it took weeks to recover rather than days from the orthoscopic remedy.

As for the discectomy on Friday if all goes as planned  the pain on my sciatic nerve bundle  will be gone immediately and I will only be suffering with the pain of the surgery and the recovery beyond cutting and drilling into my back. 

Believe it or not it's outpatient surgery. I'll be sent home directly after for recovery.  Deep Throat tells his patients they cannot lift 5 lb for at least 4 weeks. That will be my downfall.

Recovery is what I fear the most because I've been sitting there for exactly two months now and it's time for me to go do things and there's a lot of stuff I need to get done. I'm chomping at the bit to do shit and as soon as my leg pain is gone I'm going to want to get to it. I must keep reminding myself and hopefully people around me will continue to remind me,  I must not over do it. I don't want to fuck up the surgery because who knows what's in store if I  mess up in this department. As with my hernia surgery which I fucked up by traveling four days after I went under the knife…I'm going to do my best not to make that mistake again.  I've got one shot. I’m down to one surgical shot. I better own it. I better never let it go…this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo…

Practical Magic

Do you always trust your first, initial feeling?
Special knowledge holds true, bears believing...

—Stevie Nicks, Crystal

My first visit to the chiropractor was painful. Both mentally and physically.  I’m familiar with the types of treatment and I want to add this to my options for treatment but how do you let a doctor of chiropractic perform black magic on the most sensitive part of your body? Even though it's not accepted by mainstream medicine, manipulations have been going on for many years. I had success in 2013 doing traction to relieve the pinch in my C56, and I've been going on and on about my inability to receive an alternative care when I was an inpatient at Folsom. So, for the sake of my captive audience,  I better go get me some alternative care or I should STFU about it.

My first job was to seek out a reputable wellness center.  Don't just go to any corner chiropractor.  Hard to tell who has any experience or skills whatsoever. Horror stories abound. So I went back to the one I visited in 2013.  Not the same doc, but the wellness center seemed reputable to me as business looked good, judging from its size.  We will call this wellness center, Practical Magic.  Not just because it seems practical, but because Nicole Kidman has been in the news recently.  I called and made an appointment, didn’t really choose a doc, but they assigned me one.  I already knew their location so at the time of my appointment I drove over, parked in handicapped, and pushed my chair to the curb outside the main door.  There was no ramp and nothing but steps in front of me.  I looked left and right and found no means of getting up to the front door.  So I pushed down the parking lot and found a small sign that said handicapped entry in the back of the building. Pushing my wheel chair towards the front door, I realized there was no entry for the handicapped.  Not wanting to get back in the car I pushed around to the sidewalk heading to the rear of the building.  Once on the sidewalk I realized the back of the building also meant downstairs…so quickly I was zooming down the sidewalk wondering for one of the first times, how I was going to brake a wheelchair on a hill.?  With the wind in my hair, I was able to slow my roll and make a turn at the lower point of the sidewalk and roll up to the back door of the building.  Of course the door was locked…and there I was.  Locked out and faced with a long climb back up a hill. There was a button on the door so I pressed it.  Nothing happened.  So I pressed it again.  After a few minutes of sitting there, someone came to the door.   Hello, can I help you, yes I want to get into Practical Magic on the second floor, I have an appointment.  Oh, they moved out about seven years ago.  Classic, I should haven’t assumed I knew where they were… and now I was stuck in a wheel chair at the bottom of a long hill.  

I looked at my phone…since why wouldn’t I, I have Google Maps.  I did a quick search for Practical Magic and behold.  Their address.  Exactly a one minute drive from my location.  They had moved to an office building right across the street.  But now I was still a long push up a hill and a one minute drive from their location.   I only write about this because I’ve got a long blog. I need to write about how so much of what I’ve witnessed from a wheel chair gives me a very new perspective on how nothing is compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act.  I guess people give it a nice try when buildings are constructed, but after that, I don’t think any enforcement is done.  It’s all done by complaint.  I suspect.  Anyway, I was going to be late for the appointment.  I pushed back up the hill, threw my wheelchair in the back, hobbled into the car and drove over to the correct office building.  I still needed to do all the things…hobble to the back of the car, pull the wheelchair out, and roll into the building, and find the right floor.  

I rolled into the wellness center and found Practical Magic as I had remembered their lobby and as a wellness center should be.  Aesthetically pleasing, with rock walls and water features, with very soothing music playing in the background.  I had arrived for my appointment with witchcraft, I mean, alternative medicine.

I met with the warlock to whom I was assigned.  He looked fairly senior so I suspected he had some experience. I went through my long story.  He read through the notes I had brought on the results of all my imagery.  He stayed focused on  my x-rays, he was more interested in the condition of my vertebrae and less interested in the discs and nerve impingements.  To my amazement he didn't do much. No grand cracking of my spine.  No super manipulation of any kind to get me out of discomfort.  And no traction.  Getting on his table was hard enough.  Having to lay flat  on my stomach was almost the end of the visit. But I made it onto the table.  After examining my spine for a few minutes, he broke the table at about my waist level and the back part of the table lowered and my legs.  He started to press on my spine with his hands  as he slowly articulated the table side to side very gently.  The pain and numbness immediately shot through my left leg and he stopped.  That was all the manipulation he performed.  He said my spine can't move.  Everything is stationary from the S1 up.  Until we can release the spine and get it moving again there isn't much he can do.  

He then hooked me up to a machine that ran an electrical current through the muscles in the region.  That felt weird.  Electrical simulation of the muscles can release endorphins, release the muscles, reduce inflammation, and stimulate repair.  Is that true?  Keep coming back, as another group would say. I am committed to alternative care after the conventional care, PT, did very little, if anything, to help.  Twenty minutes of electrical stimulation and I was on my way home.  After paying the bill of course, out of my own pocket. However the warlock wanted to see me again that week.  He asked me when the surgery was and I told him we have about two weeks for something to happen.

Two days later I was back for the second visit  and it was very  similar.  I lay prone on his torture table.  He dropped my legs again and pressed on my spine with his fingers.  He swung the table back and forth.  As before…I could feel the pain and numbness building in my leg. He stopped. Then he put 20 minutes of current through my spinal region…the L34 and L45.  I paid the bill and went home.   To say I was uncomfortable that night is an understatement.  I felt pain at rest when normally I can find a position without pain.  In those same positions I was experiencing paid and couldn’t get comfortable.  

The weekend passed and I was in for my third visit. Again it was a repeat but this time when I got up on his table it was easier to roll on and lay prone.  That was different and a pleasant surprise. He started pressing on my vertebrae with his fingers and then grabbed a massage gun which started pounding gently next to my spine.  He dropped the table and my legs dropped down and as before he articulated the table left to right and he pressed on individual vertebrae.  This time…amazingly…there was far less pain in my leg.  We stopped that and he brought me up to a sitting position. As I sat there he had me straighten my back and he used the massage gun with two fingers on it…meant to get at those little wings of your vertebrae.  Those wings are also joints just as the vertebrae themselves are joints.  Your spinal column articulates in all directions but those tiny little joints also articular back and forth. Then there was more electric shock for twenty minutes, and this time with a heating pad.  He gave me a few exercises to do at home.  I didn't do them.  I experienced pain that night as I had after the previous treatment, I was beginning to wonder if I should continue with the treatments, but since I was all in, I was all in.  So I endured the night and went back the next day for treatment number four.

The fourth visit, as I lay prone on his table with my legs hanging down, most of the previous pain was no longer there.  He swung the table back and forth pressing on my vertebrae.  Then all of a sudden, Pop!  My spine released something.  I don't know what, he explained it…something about cavitation.  It sounded like bullshit to me.  Another round of electro shock therapy and I was released.  The day following this fourth treatment, I can stand up straight.  Something has happened in the L34 area.  I no longer have to hunch at my waist to relieve pain and bend at my waist.  I still can't put pressure on my left leg without pushing my pelvis out but the fact that I can't stand erect is amazing, it also means I can lay flat.  The weekend was upon us but I looked forward to the next treatment on Monday.  

The fifth visit was more of the same, however, I was much more flexible.  Laying down was easy.  When he dropped my legs there was no pain.  He articulated the table back and forth and my spin popped in two locations seemingly at the L34 and L45.  This time he rolled me onto my back and did some work with my knees and pelvis…however that wasn’t very successful.  He pushed my knees back and we once again had pain.  He put the massage gun right on the soft spot behind my hip (my ass) and fired away.  He did both sides, gave me some pelvis exercises to do at home (I didn’t do them) and sent me for more electric shock and home.  I had two more visits that week and looked forward to both of them.  The sixth visit was very similar, articulating the spine why laying on my stomach.  Work on my pelvis while laying on my back.  Eclectic shock therapy, pay the bill, go home.  The seventh was exactly the same.

It's the weekend after the seventh visit.  I'm walking everywhere.  I'm effectively out of the wheelchair.  I don't even need my cane. What order of mad science is this chiropractic shit. I mean, I've been telling everyone I wanted alternative care but did I really believe in it? I think I do now.  The warlock has six more sessions before surgery.  We are two weeks out.  Everything is complete for the surgery.  I’ve had all my pre-surgical appointments, blood tests, and EKG.  My primary doctor cleared me for surgery.  And I had my pre-surgical appointment where the surgeon explained exactly what he will do and I signed all my consents.  This was before I could walk of course.  Now I’m walking 12 days before going under the knife.   My surgeon literally said, if there is any improvement whatsoever I'm not doing the surgery.  We will watch it and wait and see if you experience improvement before then.  Well, my decision might have been made for me.  However, my criteria for wellness is not just walking, it’s running, jumping, and falling…at least falling on the field. I’m going to do the exercises the warlock assigned from now on.  John Boyd said, “Do your homework”, so now I will.  

I'm walking, and walking erect, but enduring moderate 4- 5 pain in my leg. I'm also still taking a lot of meds.  I'm still on Motrin, Tylenol, methocarbamol, and gabapentin…a lot of gabapentin.  Seems like my wellness criteria must include getting off the meds as well.  Regardless, special knowledge holds true, bears believing...Stay tuned.