Running, Jumping, and Falling

"Knock me down, it's all in vain
I'll get right back on my feet again"
—Pat Benatar, Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I walked off the soccer field this morning and it's official. I was on the ground twice. First time was in a mix in front of the goal which resulted in me getting knocked right the fuck off my feet and laying prone on the ground. The second was toward the end of my play when I self-selected a diving header. I missed the goal but not the ground. Funny how that works. After 60 minutes of play, I tallied two assists and three shots, one of them with my head. Not too bad for being my 5th time back to playing in the beautiful game. But now I can officially say I am running, jumping, and falling. No pain in my back whatsoever.

Lead up to today has come quite easily, if we consider playing in sub 30 degree weather easy. I played three Sundays leading up to today's match, the fourth Sunday, but I got a game in on Thursday, New Years Day, to bring the full count to five games. First game I played for 30 minutes. It was 27 degrees and I couldn't feel my feet when I came off the field. Second game I played for 45 minutes. Third game I stayed in it for just under 60 minutes. On Thursday I played non-stop for 90 minutes. The longest I have played. No pain, no physical manifestations of that game at all. I was pretty fatigued the remainder of the day, but physically 100%. So today I went for 60 minutes. The game continued on...but...I'm committed to taking it easy. Even if it feels awful leaving the game in full swing. Today it was 30 degrees, but I was warm. Hat was off, gloves were off, and I was running end to end. I took it easy because I have another game on Tuesday...and I want to make sure I recover.

Looking back on the odyssey of 2025 which led to the examination of the medical industrial complex in the context of excruciating pain, leading to me being wheelchair bound and unable to ambulate in bipedal primate fashion, I was never going to be satisfied just walking. Walking was never sufficient. When I avoided spinal fusion of my C5/6 in 2013 I had asked the surgeon, who had proposed the most extensive and invasive double fusion procedure of all the medical opinions, would I play soccer again? His response, "We play the hand we are dealt". That seemed like a big "No". So that shitty response compelled me more than any other opinion (other than Deep Throats) to seek conservative care first and get healthy without letting these for profit jack-asses touch me. And that worked.

For the record:

Spinal issues: 4

Spinal fusions: 0

I'm still playing ball bitches.

Now granted, in all spinal issues I have faced, I have retained some thickness in my discs. For discs that are exploded and completely gone or completely flat and the patient is bone on bone, fusions have been the only option. I would also call that "necessary" surgery. However, with the advent of these new artificial discs, the question should be on hold pending some good news results we should now start to accumulate over the next few years. Hopefully, at one point in our medical history, the most unnecessary surgery in the country, spinal fusions, will be a thing of the past. Nevertheless, due to the actual mechanism that is the artificial disc, the best that we can probably hope for, is a reduction in the amount of fusions that follow the typical fusion. Basically, the adjacent vertebrae get over used and fusions recommend necessary right up the spine. With some motions remaining with the artificial disc, this should become less of an issue. But that truly means the surgeon gets everything right...including how much motion would be retained. If you put the wrong shock absorbers on your car, everything will turn to shit. It would be worse if you didn't match the biophysics of the surrounding body with these artificial shock absorbers. Everything will turn to shit. Unlike with a fusion, it is also possible that these artificial discs could migrate (the technical term). That means they could move. You really don't want these things moving around on your spine. So the jury is out but intuitively I feel better about the direction these artificial discs are going in. The other thing in their favor, is that these new discs probably make the surgeon more money than an actual fusion. Given that the profit is going to be higher and the outcomes better we've got both sides of the medical equation working in the patients favor. What is seemingly in favor of the Health Insurance Company, is the reduction in multiple fusions, following the first one. So in theory, these artificial discs could be a win, win, win.

Falling on the ground, however, may still be completely out of the equation. So perhaps you can return to a physical life of running or some other mild athletics, impact is probably still out of the question with any of these artificial solutions. If you put something in your body, harder than the surrounding body, in this case bone, any impact is going to be disastrous. Mobility with the artificial disc may be decent, but impact on a titanium disc between your vertebrae isn't something to be tested against the ground. I hit the ground twice today. But it's the same body I have thrown against the ground countless times in my soccer playing life. There is no aftermarket equipment or the wrong shock absorbers to be installed. Seems like the same coefficients of impact apply at all my joints, muscles, soft tissue, bones, cartilage, discs, and all the other organic stuff. Maybe it gets sore...but it was designed by God to all go together in one package. A well designed meat suit built for 90 years, or 100,000 miles, whichever comes first. The physical body will eventually wear out. Our soul is destined for the hereafter, with or without, the extended warranty.

It is now the new year...this all started on August 17th when I reported to Fairfax Abysmal. In the aftermath, I've started my campaign of complaints aimed specifically at Fairfax Abysmal doing better. I have been summarily dismissed. Their response has been circular and more of the same. We gave you all the care necessary. We exceeded the care even required by Medicaid, etc. Doubtful I'll get to the point of a lawsuit, I just want to be heard. It's possible they are not telling me exactly what is happening inside their walls. Perhaps they are as appalled by what transpired as everyone who reads this story has been. They are just not telling me to avoid a lawsuit. However several damning things don't add up to make me believe their patient advocacy stops at the word patient. There is no advocacy. It's them and us. They are in it for a buck. We are in it for our lives. It's an imbalance in priority and they have all the power. The customer is no longer right. Even though the guy who originally said that the "Customer is always right", he meant that in terms of questions related to taste. I learned in sales a long ago that the customer is never right, most times they are wrong, and need help. They are not wrong with regard to their own taste. If they like blue, they like blue. They are correct. Yeah, but sometimes they may be wrong there as well if their stylistic views are 20 years behind the trend. They need help. In medical care, it's fair to say, the customer doesn't know shit, and requires a medical industrial complex to sort it out for them. And a patient--customer as that sounds--isn't the customer since they are not paying. It's the health care insurance company that is ultimately the customer. If they are not going to pay, you are not going to get the service. The last correspondence I received I responded with the four things that vex me about the aftermath of my care. And, very openly it is easy to see, my objection is I'm simply not being heard. I just want to be heard. Same when I was under their care. I just want someone to hear me. And I guess, act like they give a shit. I asked the so-called patient advocate four things. First, in any actual, serious, or formal review where the advocacy should be for the patient, why was the patient never asked to answer questions by the medical leadership during this review? In this case, why was I never contacted by the Fairfax Abysmal administration to provide my view on my treatment. Second, who conducted this review? What level of administration, health provider, or medical leadership was involved? Third, did anyone actually understand the outcome from the "recommended" rehabilitation? Which was no change in status from admission to rehabilitation? Subsequently my medical issues have been resolved by a second medical provider, not Fairfax Abysmal. Meaning, the moment treatment was complete, I was out of the wheelchair, walking on my own, and without pain or disability. Did anyone at Fairfax Abysmal even know this? Fourth, did anyone address the complete invasion of privacy and patient humiliation I suffered while in the observation ward? As I reread these, the patient--me--does not seem on the brink of a lawsuit. Rather, he just wants to be heard. He wants a human in the room, someone with a modicum of good bedside manner, to simply hold my hand and tell me, we fucked this up, we are sorry, we are delighted you are better, we have fired the miserable ER doctor who created these problems for you. A plague on her. We have informed the Neurosurgeon that he was wrong, and his PA's were right. The patient was healed, despite your incompetence, by a better medical team. A plague on him. Is that too much to ask?

I thought part two of this story was going to be about the war I waged with Fairfax Abysmal to get them to pay for their negligence in my care. I really don't feel like wasting anymore time since I've now put this all behind me. August was a long time ago. It was 2025 and I'm running, jumping, and falling. I put down my resolutions for 2026 and sent them to all my friends. A malpractice lawsuit isn't one of my objectives.

Here they are if you missed them:

1) Spend more time with God

2) Lose weight

3) Play soccer

4) Hike to Bench Lake

5) Read more books

6) Solve major DoD force structure problems

Stay tuned as 2026 opens up and we see just young this fountain of youth spine of mine will take me. In the words of Pat Benatar, hit me with your best shot. Apparently Pat Benatar no longer sings her trademark anthem anymore. She believes the song is too violent and invokes negative connotations particularly as they relate to mass shootings. I'll also refrain from the punchline out of respect for her...but not from the lead in. Come on 2026, hit me with your best shot. I'm the one not fighting fair.