Live Like You Are Dying

“Well, I spent the whole night fighting
Fighting with some ghost
And when the break of morning found me
I'd both won and lost.
You see the question isn't are you going to suffer any more.
But what will it have meant when you are through?
The question isn't "are you going to die, you're going to die.
But will you be done living when you do?”

—Justin McRoberts, Done Living

Farley sang me a song and sent a video.  His video is available upon request.  You get some of the lyrics here though...

So this is a great segway into Tim McGraw's great song,

“I went skydiving, I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin’

And he said, Some day I hope you get the Chance to

To live like you were dyin”

After Farley sung his haunting song to me and then  Tim McGraw enters my cranial jukebox...I am immediately transported into Lewis Capaldi’s beautiful lyric,

 “Now, the day bleeds into nightfall...And you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug.  I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”

Albeit three completely different meanings all are relevant to the serious business at hand and worth a listen. I hope Farley covers Capaldi and McGraw soon and gives us all a listen. Back to the business at hand, and don't worry I'm not dying. But it is time to start living again...

When they ask if you're allergic to any medications I always say no because I'm not allergic to any medications.  But  what I always forget to say is that I'm actually allergic to chlorhexidine. Chlorhexidine is the antiseptic they now use to clean your skin before an injection.  They moved away from iodine and isopropyl alcohol due to the more resistant strains of bad bacteria deciding to live on that shit.  Anyway, I’m allergic to it.  I discovered that because when I donate blood both the Red Cross and Inova Blood donation centers use it.  I have to remind them everytime or I break out with a rash about two weeks later.  Not just in the area of the stick…but all the way down my arm.  The other property of this stuff is it  takes more than a few days for your immune system to show up with the reaction…so very hard to pin point. It presents very similar to poison ivy…but it doesn't move into the blistering phase…just that initial rash and itchy skin is very similar.

And... yeah…they cleaned my skin with chlorhexidine many many times over the last few weeks and now the autoimmune response is showing up to add to my issues.   The worst part is when I Google allergic reactions to chlorhexidine it’s like a red flag.  I need to go to the emergency room immediately. It's  time for an immediate injection of epinephrine.  Shades of John Travolta stabbing  Uma Thurmond in the heart with a big needle.  Don't do that…not real…but that's what flashes in my head.  It’s not that bad…it's just a rash and a case of the itchy showing up in all the areas I got needles poked in. 

The first time I got it,  I thought it was poison ivy. It was almost impossible to trace back to the donation of blood because it takes my body a long time to actually react, seemingly by that time you've washed your skin from the application of chlorhexidine multiple times.  So imagine my surprise over the weekend when I started breaking out in a rash.

They drew blood for testing including placement of IVs no less than six times.  The big one however was the injection of blood thinner every morning to prevent blood clots in my legs as I was laying in a hospital bed.  Alone, that was about 14 injections in each area cleaned with chlorhexidine. Along my belly (subcutaneous) and the same in the fatty tissue under each arm (subcutaneous). So with over 20 injection locations I was never told once they were using chlorhexidine.  Here is an excerpt from the FDA website on use of this product.

“Health care professionals should always ask patients if they have ever had an allergic reaction to any antiseptic before recommending or prescribing a chlorhexidine gluconate product. Advise patients to seek immediate medical attention if they experience any symptoms of an allergic reaction when using the products.”

They don't even ask me at the blood clinics…so the reaction is either very rare or people who do this and their reaction doesn't show up for 2 weeks have no idea it's from the chlorhexidine…so do we really know?

I've saved the best news for last…I had three doctors appointments today.

I met with my new chiropractor at the Roselle Wellness Center in Merrifield.  I met again with my pain management doctor in Cascades. And I met with my primary care physician in Centerville. Meeting with all these outpatient physicians was not possible from inpatient treatment in Mount Vernon so I was waiting to get out of Folsom to finally get what I believe to be real care.  I basically wasted 3 weeks of my life. It was clear on the 18th of August I should have been released, albeit without the ability to walk, into my own recognizance because these quacks weren't going to get it done.

Because of my bent and tormented shape the chiropractor did not want to immediately begin traction as I needed to flatten my body out. Although he has an advanced bending and reciprocating chiropractic bench to see if the better epidural will have some effect. My chiropractor said the pain doctors who administer the procedure are much more accurate and then those who do it inside the hospital.  

However, first I was able to lower myself down onto the chiropractor's table on my belly from a kneeling position.  I was laying on my knees and from there was able to lay prone.  He wanted to put light traction on my L45 and so he simply grabbed my ankles and began to pull my pelvis downward…as theorized as soon as he unlocked the L45 the pain of the pinch went away. So this is not unlike me bending at the torso and performing the poster pelvic thrust to make more space at the L45. All kinds of ways to make space in the L45 and conventional physical therapists don't see it as real therapy. This was very promising to the chiropractic doctor and to myself. The plan will be to get strapped to the traction machine in about a week after we see if the next injection into the L45 has an effect. But get a couple courses attraction in before any surgical decision is made to trim the disc.

Next stop I was over to Cascades to get the injection.  Keep in mind my insurance company has already turned down this injection as unnecessary for at least another 2 weeks. 

This is a guided epidural and I'll provide the only picture I've  posted thus far  because I think it's important.  This doctor wanted to get an injection into the L34 as well as the l 45. And his words to me were he was going to get that needle right up to the nerve and even kiss it. Before he injected both the lanacane for immediate relief and then the steroid that could take the requisite 24 to 72 hours to kick in. When he approached the L34 my study of vertebrae and nerves in the lumbar region became pertinent…I could feel in my leg he was screwing around with the right nerve bundle as I could feel it on the right side of my left leg down to my knee…classic L34. When the injection came it was an electric shock right down to the right side of my knee…he nailed it and that side of my leg went numb. 

Now it was time for him to find the real offending impingement.  Very similar as he approached the nerve root I could feel it shooting down the outside of my left leg around the knee, down the calf, and right into my big toe. This is the sciatic nerve. So when the injection came it was exactly the same electricity all the way down to the big toe. Pow. My left leg was overcome with warmth and numbness. Something major was happening.

He withdrew all the needles and showed me the pictures of what he had been doing while I was face down.

For the first time in well over 3 weeks I had my definitive answer. L45 has always been the culprit and the neurosurgeon at Inova Fairfax should begin his plans for an earlier retirement. For 3 weeks his moronic decisions kept a patient in both mental and physical duress. Three of his physician's assistants came to see me and all three of them indicated to me we had a real problem, and surgery was most likely indicated. The neurosurgeon chose not to listen to his team.  Nor did he ever bother to come examine me himself. Unacceptable behavior from any member of the medical community… and if you believe in the Hippocratic Oath…clearly something that was misapplied and or not taken seriously by this particular neurosurgeon. What exactly is harm?  I feel harmed.  Those of you who have read this blog can make no mistake in that regard. 

After this appointment I was able to make it out to my primary care physician in Centerville. I recapped everything so my primary would know what's going on and we also made adjustments to my blood pressure medication and possibly my cholesterol medication. He also put me on a better stomach medication to keep all of the Motrin and other pills I'm dumping in my stomach from causing too much turmoil to my stomach lining, keep it from bleeding. Which I might point out, It's already been confirmed that it is bleeding…Thanks to this long-term use of ibuprofen at the hands of the innova and the witch doctor neurosurgeon.  

My primary care physician has recommended I don't use the Inova system for my third opinion on spinal surgery and recommended a surgeon affiliated with Reston Hospital. I'll be making that appointment properly. My second opinion will be coming from the surgeon at Ortho Virginia I have already met with and immediately requested the two additional MRIs because we are not getting a proper diagnosis from INOVA Fairfax, aka, Attica, aka, Fairfax of Abysmal.

So look…for today... I'm still in my wheelchair. But moving in and out of the wheelchair has become abundantly easier as if I do make a movement mistake, I am not placed immediately in blinding pain…I guess we would still call that a 10.  Transitions seem to be around 6 not comfortable but something that can be tolerated.